The Words Unsaid By yuelin_li

Notes:

Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a fan fiction for CCS, so please let me know what you think. This is sort of a diary entry kind of story. I hope you enjoy it everyone! Ja Ne! yuelin_li

Dear Diary:

Li was looking at Sakura again today. I think he really loves her. But if he does, what will happen to me? Will he forget about me and only think about Sakura? Will he know me when he sees me? Will | be erased from his memory? Will he care about me still? How can I tell him? I try to show my feelings, but I only appear possessive. I don’t mean to embarrass him. Really, I am shy. I don’t want to show my true feelings to him. I only hang on him to try and make myself believe my dream… that he loves me, as I love him. But, It’s not true. And I can’t tell him. How can I? He doesn’t feel the same. I’d only get my heart broken… He doesn’t know how I feel. Even though I express my feelings to him, he doesn’t know how much I really love him. How I wish I could just say those few words… I must go to bed now. Goodnight. Meiling

Meiling closed her diary and looked out her window at Li’s house across the street. She breathed a long sigh, as a tear ran down her cheek and softly hit the floor. She closed her window and walked to her bed. She climbed in. “Li-kun,” Meiling said softly as several tears ran down her cheeks, and she began to cry herself to sleep.

The next day, Sakura was talking with Li and Toyomo at school. They were now in the 8th grade. “Hi Meiling, how are you today?” “Hi Sakura, I’m fine thanks,” said Meiling in a sad voice. “What are you guys talking about?” “Oh, just clow card stuff,” said Sakura embarrassed. “I’m making a new outfit for Sakura, Meiling,” said Toyomo. “How do you like it?” Toyomo held up a drawing of a Chinese-like outfit in red with a long, white skirt and matching red cotton slippers. The sleeves of the shirt were wide, with a white stripe on the bottom of each and bells on them. There was a light blue and yellow flower pattern on the bottom left corner, and the collar of the shirt was long and straight with a small slit down the center. There was a button towards the bottom of the left shoulder and a loop towards the top left shoulder to connect the bottom and top of the shirt. The skirt was outlined in red and had the same pattern of flowers on it as the shirt. “Oh! It looks so beautiful, Toyomo!” exclaimed Meiling. “Thanks, Meiling! I was inspired by your costume!” Meiling blushed. “Sakura, have you sensed anything lately?” asked Li. “Well, no. But I captured all the cards, so I shouldn’t be sensing anything, right?” asked Sakura worriedly. “I guess not, but just be careful, Sakura. Keep your eyes open. Anything could happen, and none of us want you to get hurt,” said Li seriously. “Thanks, Li. I will,” said Sakura, blushing. “We should all keep a look out for strange things. And if I sense anything…” Meiling said. “Meiling! How many times do I have to tell you? You’re not a card captor! You don’t have magical powers! And you can’t sense clow cards! Ok!?” said Li angrily. “But Li, I…” said Meiling sadly as a tear rolled down her cheek. “In fact, I don’t even know why you come with us to capture clow cards! You don’t do anything but watch! And you can be in the way! You should do us all a favor and just stay home! Cardcaptoring is too dangerous for you!” shouted Li. Meiling burst into tears and ran away. “Li! Speak for yourself! How could you say something like that?! I suppose if I didn’t have any “magic” then you would say the same thing to me!” screamed Sakura. “Uh, um…well, well I…” Li said embarrassed as he turned bright red. “You make me so mad sometimes Li!” Sakura shouted as she ran off in the direction Meiling had gone. Toyomo looked disapprovingly at Li and followed Sakura. Li was left alone, thinking about what he had said.

“Meiling! Meiling wait up!” Sakura shouted as she ran after Meiling. But, Meiling kept running. Sakura was finally able to catch up to her. “Meiling, Li didn’t mean it. You know that,” Sakura said with a smile. “Sometimes, I’m not so sure,” said Meiling sadly. “Don’t talk like that, Meiling! You’re a very important part of the team! So what if you don’t have any clow powers? I don’t care, and you shouldn’t either! You’re still a part of the team, and as long as I’m around, nothing’s going to change that Meiling! You’re my friend! And you’re a great person! Li doesn’t know what he’s talking about! Now, dry your tears, Meiling.” Sakura said happily. “You really think so, Sakura?” asked Meiling. “Of, course, Meiling,” said Sakura, smiling. “Thanks, Sakura,” said Meiling with a smile. “And anyway, don’t listen to Li! He frowns so much, his whole brain is negative!” they both laughed. “Okay, so will you come back with me, Meiling?” asked Sakura. “Sure, Sakura!” said Meiling. “You know, Sakura, you’re a great friend!” “So are you, Meiling!” exclaimed Sakura. “There you are, Sakura!” exclaimed Toyomo. “Meiling, are you alright?” “Yes, I’ll be fine Toyomo, thank you,” said Meiling. “Li-kun! That was really mean of you!” yelled Sakura. “Girls!” Li grunted. *Sakura, Toyomo, and Meiling stick out their tongues at Li.* Li sighs heavily and walks away, muttering under his breath. * The 7th period bell rings and everyone leaves for their classes.

*Later at Meiling’s house, Meiling is doing her math homework. *

“Hmm… 345 times 862 is…umm…I think I need a study break! “ *Suddenly the phone rings* “Hello?” says Meiling “Hi Meiling. This is-“ “Sakura. Yes, Sakura why did you call me?” “Oh no reason, really. How are you? Li was, kind of…mean today. Are you alright?” “Yes, I’m fine. Why?” “Well…you seemed kind of, upset.” “Yeah. But I’m ok now.” “Good.” *Silence* “Um, Meiling, do you want to, come over to my house next Friday?” “Hahaa! I already was over to your house. How about, you sleep over at mine?” “Really?! Uh, yeah! That would be great!” “I’ll make noodles!” “Thanks, Meiling.” “Sakura?” “Yeah?” “I know we never were close, but I…” “What?” “I really like you, Sakura. You are a great friend. A long time ago, I really hated you.” “I could tell…” “Thanks for putting up with me.” “Sakura, I have to go. I’ve got homework.” “Kay, see you tomorrow Meiling.” “Bye.” *Meiling and Sakura hang up the phone* “Wow! This is great. But, maybe it will freak out Li and Toyomo,” said Meiling. She returned to her math homework. *The phone rings again* “Hello?” “Hi Meiling. I just remembered, I don’t know where you live.” *Meiling gives Sakura directions. Then, ends the conversation, and hangs up the phone. * 2 hours later: *Phone rings. * “Hello?” “Hi Meiling.” “Li!!!” *Meiling blushes. * “What? Are you calling me for?” “Well, I wanted to tell you that, I-“ Please, please! Say you love me! Say you love me! Oh! Please Li! Say you love me! (Meiling thinking) “Now is a perfect time to tell him Meiling.” “What? Who are you?” “Your inner self.” “Oh. Wait! Li must think I’m crazy!” “Li! I can explain! I think.” “What?” (Li) “Now he does.” “Huh?” (Meiling) “He can’t hear you when you talk to me. And he can’t hear me at all. Now he thinks you’re crazy.” “Huh!” “Now is a perfect time to tell him.” “Tell him what?” “Like you have no idea what I’m talking about!” “I can’t.” “Why?” “He, loves…” “Sakura?” “How did you know that?” “I’m part of you, remember? I know everything you know.” “Oh.” “So, tell him!” “I can’t.” “Why is Sakura stopping you?” “She’s my friend.” “Oh. Sense when?” “Why do you care?” “No reason.” “So, I can’t tell him.” “Yes you can.” “I’d only get…” “You’re heart broken?” “Stop that.” “Stop what?” “Doing that.” “What?” “That!” “Huh?” “Shut up!” “Meiling? Are you still there?” (Li) “Li! Yes! Yes I am!” “Ok. Well, anyway I wanted to say that I…” *Meiling’s heart started to pound. * Li. Say you love me please. Please, forget about Sakura.” (Meiling thinking) “See, you can do it.” “Leave me alone.” “Why?” “Because, I’m trying to talk to Li” “Oh.” “Meiling?” “Li!” “Okay. We must be having phone trouble over here.” “Um, yeah.” “I wanted to say that I’m sorry about today.” “Really?” “Yeah. You’re just too sensitive.” “What?!” “Yep.” “Am not!” “Yes you are.” “Li!” “I got to go. Bye.” *Click. * “Li? Li!? Li! I’m not done… Li! Please, Li! Meiling slammed the phone down on the receiver, and burst out in furious rages and screams. She punched and kicked the air. “Li! How could you? Sensitive! Ha! I’m not!” Meiling screamed so loud it made her throat hurt. She slowed down. Exhausted and more frustrated than ever, Meiling flung herself on her bed mat and closed the silk curtain around it. There she broke down into tears and cried for a few moments. It was only a matter of time before Li told Sakura how he felt, and in doing so, dismissing Meiling from his life…forever. She didn’t know what to do. “Li…why?” she whispered, putting her face in her pillow. She lay there for a few minutes. Finally, she got up and changed into her pajamas. Sadly, she slumped into her bed, closed the curtain, and tried to go to sleep. But, she couldn’t, She kept thinking about Li…and Sakura…together. How could Li not know? Did he know how much she loved him? What was he thinking? They were supposed to be together…and he made her a promise. How could he?! It didn’t make any sense at all! Ahhhh! “Li! I hate you!!!” screamed Meiling. Then, she burst into a series of tears again, screaming loudly. Then, she calmed down, sighed painfully, and took her diary out of her dresser. She wrote this:

Dear Diary: Another bad day has come and gone. And now I feel more confused and hurt than ever before. I really don’t know what to do. Li called, and was rude, but he did apologize for what he did, insulting me at school earlier. And the more I am around Sakura, the more I like her. But she is supposed to be my enemy. Or is she? I don’t know. I catch Li staring at Sakura almost constantly now, blush hard and deep each time. It’s like he’s in a trance, and doesn’t want to wake up. He’s living in the world that worships only Sakura. And that is how he acts around her, now. She doesn’t seem to notice it, though. And as long as Li doesn’t tell her, she will never have any idea of it. I love Li with every aspect of my living, breathing soul. But he returns no feelings of the same to me, only intense hatred, for snapping him out of his dream world. I know what he has is true love for her, but the love that I have for him…is true, truer even than what he could possibly have for Sakura. He’s everything to me. And I glomp him and treat him as a possession…no wonder he hates me so. I am now being more of what I feel is my true self. I don’t like being bossy and posessive. Nor do I like displaying my love of Li for all eyes to gaze at. He isn’t to be put in a showcase. I have been so foolish. I swear by the blood of my family, no longer will I act as I have for so long. I will act simply as I did when we were younger children, and hide my feelings for him. Maybe then, he will see me as less of a nuisance. No matter what does happen, I won’t give up on Li. He is my love, to the end, even if he chooses Sakura, I will always love him, until I am hanging onto life by almost nothing. Sakura is my friend also. No matter what I want myself to believe, she has indeed, been very supportive and kind to me, ever sense I moved to this place called Japan. And my friend, she will remain. I have to go I’m so tired. Meiling

Meiling closed her journal, and crawled back into her bed. Sleep came soon after that.

Her alarm clock rang and she sleepily got out of bed and changed. It was early Saturday morning, and she had martial arts lessons with her Sensae. This was her favorite part of the week. Martial Arts were so much fun, and a good way to get out her anger. Now, she felt that the punching bag should be her dearest Li. She smiled evilly as she changed into the traditional Chinese uniform for practice. Then, she went down stairs, and ate a breakfast of cold noodles, and hot green tea. For lunch, she would cook up dumplings and Chinese mushrooms. She made an extra batch of noodles with mushrooms, pea pods, water chestnut, shrimp, and onions, covered in a light sauce. “Sakura will love these!” Meiling exclaimed, jumping up in the air. She planned to take out the extra bed mat and blankets for Sakura when she got home. Satisfied with her meal, she went outside, hopped on her shiny red and silver bike, and rode toward the Dojo.

Meiling stepped inside, and bowed. Fighting here always made her feel so much better. Li also practiced here. The Sensae saw Meiling and greeted her warmly,” Meiling, how good of you to come!” He smiled. “Us! Sa! Sensae!” replied Meiling obediently. I shall start your class in a few moments. I want 50, 50, 50. Quickly now. 50, 50, 50 meant 50 pushups, sit-ups, and jump jacks. It was now a regular routine for Meiling, and it was really, quite easy for her to do. After all, she had been doing Martial Arts sense childhood. Then, she saw something, someone…it was…Li! She scurried his way, head down, blushing. Li noticed her. And he was surprisingly pleasant with her. “Usa! Sa! Meiling!” he shouted and bowed. Meiling beamed. She was of a higher rank then he, so he was required to bow. But when he stood up, he was smiling. “Usa! Sa! Li!” she said softly. Li beamed at her. “So, you’re hear. I didn’t expect to see you, Li.” She said. “Why?” he asked confused. “This isn’t usually the time you come. Not this day, even.” She said. “I wanted to see you, Meiling.” “Huh?!” “Yes.” He said. Meiling blushed deeply. “Yeah! You know I wanted to talk about you.” He said. “W-why?’” “About what I said on the phone. I was…” “Rude? Mean?” “Rude. I’m sorry.” “Well, it’s about time! Thank you, Li” “It’s alright.” “Well, DUH!” “Meiling! You’re embarrassing me!” “Live with it. You may be a cardcaptor Li, but I could kick your butt in a karate match anytime!” “Uh, um…” “And don’t you forget it!” “Okay.” “I don’t need you. I love you, but I don’t need you. You fall for her, and have a perfect life, and I’ll cry for a while. But I’ll go on. I’ll live. You’re not everything, even to me. You must think very highly of yourself. But let me tell you, Li, I don’t need anything from you! Not love, not friendship, not protection!!! I’m perfectly fine without you, and I always have been. I didn’t even like you much, when I met you first! And then, because of that bird and I fell head over feet for you! And you never talked to me! And you’d probably not even care if I died! Would you? But, listen to me, Li, I don’t need you, even if I love you or not! I’m not going to eat out of your hand! Not going to obey you like a pet! It’s not going to fly!” “Meiling, I’m not trying to do any of that.. I do care about you. I don’t want you to leave. I’ll leave.” “ No one’s going to draw you a map, Li, you’ve gotta walk your own path! I’ve got to do the same. So does Sakura. Are you going to follow her all your life? Are you going to just keep running away?” “Running away?” “Yeah.” “I’m not running.” “Then what are you doing?” “I don’t want to hurt you, Meiling.” “It’s late for that, Li, and It doesn’t mean much.” “No?” “No, it doesn’t.” “So, what now?” “Now I tell you that I know about you and Sakura. How you look so happy around her. How you wish you could tell her. How you want to not break my heart…when you tell me. But Li, too late for that. My heart is broken, you stepped on it, crushed it, and burned it. Then threw it under water. But, it’s been broken for many years. Ever sense I let myself get obsessed with you. And now, all you did was finish the job. So, dead on the inside, I’m gonna leave you. Because I’m a better person than you’d ever know. And if you treat Sakura, like you did me, I’ll break you in two. She’s a better girl than you deserve. I’ll live on, and I’ll stay here, so I can still be a friend with Sakura. Maybe we’ll be friends, someday. But not now. All I can do, is thank you, for waking me up from this deadly dream I was trapped in. From darkness into light. Walk your own path, Li, don’t end up, obsessed with her. It’ll kill you.” With that, Meiling bowed to Li, and leaned to hug him. She whispered into his ear: “Don’t forget me, Syoaran. I still love you, you know. But I hate you, just the same.” At this, Li blushed very hardly. Meiling smiled, leaned forward, and kissed him softly on the lips. He stood shocked, surprised, blushing, looking at her. She touched his cheek. “Goodbye, Syoaran.” She walked out of the door. “WAIT! Meiling!” he called. He chased her out of the dojo and outside. “WAIT! MEILING!” he called again. She stopped, turned around, but she was unsure why. He ran up to her. “I’m so sorry,” he said. ”I know,” she whispered, “but, it doesn’t matter now, Li. Give it up.” “No.” he said, desperately. “Why? You have Sakura, your princess. Your angel. Go to her. I don’t want you.” She said flatly. “I just, can’t let you go,” He said, a tear running down his eyes. “In the back of my mind, I always wanted to love you. I wanted to. Really badly. It tore me up inside, knowing how I could never love you, how you loved me. All the stuff I said, not one word of it was true. I used it as a kind of front, so you’d never know, that I wanted so badly, to say to you that I loved you and all we needed was each other to live. Did you ever wonder, what if I could just tell him? I’m always thinking, tell Meiling you love her, and everything else will fall into place. And then Sakura will go you of my head. And she will be perfectly happy loving Yuki and Eriol. Her life would be fine, great even, if all I was to her, was a friend. That’s all she really needs me as, is a friend. He’d be fine without me. You know that. I’m not really the number one love in her heart. She’d just convince herself that I was, if I told her how I felt. But, you love me. You know you love me. You’d love me if I never told you, if I’d never love you back. It’s so rare. And, I can’t believe I let you get away. It’s like happiness is sitting on my doorstep, and I’m too busy with obsessing over popularity to come out and answer the door. Too buys to step into the sunlight. It’s true, I never really felt what I would call a romantic kind of love for you. There was, never, really any kind of spark. But, in the back of my head, every time I see you, I think, what if I just kissed her? What would happen then? But, I’m tried of asking questions. I’ve gotta find out, what would happen.” Li leaned over, put his hands on Meiling’s cheeks, and kissed her. Just then, a warm breeze began to blow. Lotus blossoms blew in a spiral around them. Finally, Li stepped back, and ran his hand across her cheek. He smiled. “Li…I-“ Meiling stammered. “Shhh,” he whispered. Far in the distance, some delicate Chinese music was playing. “Dance with me,” Li whispered softly. He took Meiling’s hands and began to slowly move to the music with her. In her ear, he whispered, ”Now, I know what would happen if I kissed you.” “What would happen?” Meiling asked softly. He smiled. “I would fall in love,” he whispered softly. “Oh Li!” Meiling shouted happily. She fell softly into his arms, and he held her gently. “I thought I’d never love you. I thought, Sakura was the only one for me. But, I was dreaming, and now I’m awake. And this is so real. I finally, told you what I really felt. I told you the words that went unsaid,” he said lovingly. He bent down, and kissed her again, for the fist time, in love with her. Not in love with her looks, or her strength, or her attitude, but, for the very first time in his entire life, really, truly, absolutely, in love with every single part of her. And she finally got to be in peace, because, what she never thought would happen in all eternity, was standing right in front of her, loving her, breathing her. And she knew all along, she loved him, he loved her. But she never thought he’d say a word. And so they lived, in happiness and love, ~*Happily Ever After*~

Afterward: Well, Li and Meiling are fine, but what about the rest of the characters? Here’s what happened to them:

Tomoe confessed her feelings to Sakura. Sakura was a little confused. But, deciding that she loved Tomoe only as a sister, they remained friends and Tomoe later realized that she loved Sakura only as a friend also. She fell in love with Eriol, and admired him from a distance.

Sakura was very happy for Meiling and Li. She served as maid-of-honor in the wedding. Sakura also decided that she didn’t need a man in her life to be happy, and became a motivational speaker and a gymnast. She always did keep her huge crush on Yuki, though. ^_^

-Well, I hoped you liked my story! I don’t usually support Li + Meiling, but with this one, I decided to play around. ^_^ For comments (please, no flaming)

E-mail me at: jsakerka@cobweb.net

Thanks! Ja-Ne, Yuelin